I: Big Film Fest Weekend

"There was my life before film fest, and there was my life after film fest."

- Madi, my Annual Short Film Fest cohost.

This weekend was both our second iteration of the Annual Short Film Fest and my first 48 Hour Film Project as camera ops. Hence Big Film Fest Weekend. It was fulfilling and life-giving and, honestly I didn't need as much caffeine as I expected. It's almost like doing things you love gives you energy. Crazy.  

Friday also marked the conclusion of the second week of design school. From magazine writing and campaign photography to art directing shoots and working on film sets, a lot has led me here. I can say it feels right; I wasn't sure it would. I know I'm going to look back on a lot of these things and fully CRINGE, but that's okay. That's called growth, baby.

During senior year of high school, the teacher of my band group had us write letters to our future selves. I had fully forgotten about it when he messaged this summer asking for my current mailing address. Reading words written by my confused, unsure, "where am I going to college??" 18-year-old self was a surreal experience.  I'm excited to do that again in two years when I graduate this program.

Five years after graduation, I hope I'm still producing silly little events to force my friends into creative pursuits. Maybe the fourth Annual Film Fest will finally have a visual identity I didn't throw together the week of on cardstock, linocuts, and a prayer. 

It does feel a bit futile to wonder where I'll be; I never could have imagined the jobs I've had and the paths that led to them. Like the Hail Mary Linkedin message while working frontline at an outdoor retailer that led to shooting ad campaigns, or agreeing to run in a running shoe commercial just to chat with the producers, which led to assisting gigs months later. What does sound appealing right now is a role that combines the seemingly disparate creative fields I've collected, working within the support of an inspired team, and having time outside of work for creative passions of my own—that I don't feel the need to monetize. Right now I see that lying in the art direction realm, but listen, I'm open. 

I love a list. I love a plan. I love a roadmap. Open my journals, even back to middle school, and you'll find detailed lists of the various jobs I wanted and how I'd get there. I'm trying to plan less and be present more. I fully believe that being fully grounded in my current opportunities and forging genuine connections in the moment has led me to the work I'm most proud of.  Sure, there's a loose plan: shadow folks, get an internship, do spec work with companies I can get behind, learn from other designers I admire, ask one million questions.

How will I know if I'm successful? Future Taylor, do you feel like you're moving towards what Glennon Doyle would call your freest, most beautiful life? Do you have a new North Star if art direction doesn't feel right in the end? Do you still trust yourself? Great. Keep going. 

Finally, a non-exhaustive list of people who might join me along the way: the lovely editorial folks at Trails and Seattle Met, my Seattle production company besties, fellow early-career filmmakers in the NWFF class, and quite possibly the cohort of designers I'm sharing a building with for the next two years. 

xoxo

Loves of the Week: